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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron Katie
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Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advise on how to live, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work." The Work is a revolutionary new way to resolve problems, so simple that even a child can do it, yet so powerful that it can radically change your life. The Work's four questions can be applied to any situation, from everyday conflicts to life-long traumas. In Loving What Is, Byron Katie takes you step-by-step through this transformative process, giving you everything you need to experience freedom and lasting peace in your life. This audio edition features live recordings of people doing The Work with Katie, and the riveting one-on-one dialogues with Katie bring The Work to life in a way that the book can't. The audio also includes bonus material featuring new and expanded dialogues not found in the book.
- Sales Rank: #860130 in Books
- Published on: 2002-08-09
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Formats: Abridged, Audiobook, CD
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 7
- Dimensions: 6.36" h x 1.10" w x 6.42" l,
- Binding: Audio CD
Amazon.com Review
Remember the phrase "question authority"? Loving What Is is a workbook on questioning authority--but in this case, what is in question is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships.
Known simply as "The Work," Byron Katie's methods are clean and straightforward. The basis is a series of four questions addressed to your own lists of written assumptions. Whether you're angry with your boss, frustrated with your teen's behavior, or appalled at the state of the world's environment, Katie suggests you write down your most honest thoughts on the matter, and then begin the examination. Starting with, "Is it true?" and continuing with explorations of "Who would you be without that thought?" this method allows you to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is "turning the thought around," and at first this can seem like you're simply blaming yourself for everything. Push a little harder, and you'll find a very responsible acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame.
The book is filled with examples of folks applying The Work to a variety of life situations, and reading other's examples gets the idea across pretty clearly; chances are you'll find your own frustrations echoed on the pages a few times. Many chapters are divided into specific topics, such as couples, money, addictions, and self-judgments, with one chapter devoted to exploring the method with children.
Questioning your own authority is never an easy process, but it seems well worth the potential rewards--stress-free choices, peace, and affection for those closest to you. --Jill Lightner
From Library Journal
A thrice-married housewife and mother of three who once suffered from depression, Katie presents what she calls "the Work," a series of questions to help alter bad thinking patterns and reveal painful truths. So that readers might see the method in action, she has reproduced edited dialogs among herself and participants at her workshop. Direct and easy to follow, her book could indeed produce results for readers battling run-of-the-mill work and relationship problems. However, Katie and coauthor/husband Mitchell, a translator of the Bhagavad Gita, would like their audience to believe that this is heads above a standard self-help book: in Mitchell's compelling introduction, he compares Katie's process to the Socratic method and the Zen Koan and posits that it will enhance any other program or religion. These are heady claims, and it's up to the reader to decide whether the authors deliver on their promises. With the publicity campaign and author tour, there will likely be demand in public libraries. Susan Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
This new self-help title explains the hows and whys of Katie's philosophy and work. Katie suffered from severe depression for more than 10 years, but in 1986, after moving into a halfway house for women with eating disorders, she discovered a new way of thinking and working through tough emotions like sadness, anger, jealousy, and despair. Katie's philosophy, which she calls "The Work," consists of four questions that seek to untangle complex emotions by changing the reactions and thought processes of the person seeking help. Instead of focusing on feeling anger, Katie suggests what she calls "inquiry," or assessing why we feel anger toward someone or something and how we can react another way. Responding to and thinking differently about a situation are the keys to following Katie's work successfully. She gives many examples of her interviews with people tackling "The Work." Michelle Kaske
Copyright � American Library Association. All rights reserved
Most helpful customer reviews
106 of 112 people found the following review helpful.
Loving and Ending Suffering
By Kyle
Suffering comes in all shapes and sizes, but one of the key components of suffering is often fear. I have often experienced fear and anxiety in a variety of situations, even though I knew my worries were unfounded and irrational. I often ruminated on my problems to the point where I felt like I was constantly having an anxiety attack. I turned to things like alcohol and other drugs to keep my mind off the problem at hand, but that only delayed the inevitable. When I would sober up, the problem was still there and I would have not made any progress on solving it. This book details a simple, step-by-step guide on how to go through "The Work" toward healing and ending suffering. It has literally been a lifesaver for me. It is practical and actionable, and I use these methods in my everyday life.
I also found 21 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy. It is a book that is just as practical and actionable as Loving What Is, but it takes a slightly different approach. It posits that giving up concepts and ideas is the best way to achieve happiness. Using advice in this book along with "The Work," I have been able to clear my head and focus on my goals. I no longer worry about what other people think, and I've started planning my life more around concrete goals and less around the aimless wander. 21 Thing You Should Give Up To Be Happy talks about the "aimless wander" as one thing you should give up. My anxiety was always on high alert, but it didn't need to be!
I'm glad I found these two books, because I've been to produce much more positive effects throughout my life. I am working toward my goals and my mind is more stress-free than it's ever been. Neither of these books offer new age mumbo jumbo. They are written by real people with real life experience who have been able to construct effective action plans that work for a wide variety of individuals. I am just one success story in a sea of others.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
I could see the wonderful person my husband is
By Raquel
I want to thank you for The Work! It is a gift;-)
Let me share with you how the work changed my life.
The work saved my marriage. Before, I was charging a lot of my husband, but after work, using the turn around, I saw that everything that I prescribed for my husband was really for me to do; and what I thought he should give me actually, I should give myself! I could see the wonderful person my husband is.
The work has made the relationship with my children so much easier, smooth, light. I can see that I am what I accused them of being. I learn so much with my children. They have so much patience with me. They are generous and kind to me. They are real teachers. When I get angry, my 4 year old daughter, Ana tells me, "vai fazer Byron Katie, Mam�e!", wich is something like "Go do Byron Katie, Mom!". You are very much like my mother, Davi, my 3 year old son, when he sees you on the computer screen, he calls: "Grandma!" ;-) I watch you a lot on youtube!
The work has improved the relationship with my parents, my brothers and sister. Examples: before, I fought a lot, I felt unloved, excluded, forgotten, abused. Now, I feel loved, included, remembered, and I respect myself. And when I found out that my mother has cancer, the work opened my mind, I was also able to see the opportunity for us to say goodbye; make the most of every moment with my mother while she is alive.
The work transformed the relationship with my stepdaughter and my husband's ex-wife in a funny way. Before there was so much drama. Now that everything is simple and straightforward, they are gone from my life. My stepdaughter does not want to visit us and the ex-wife of my husband stopped sending aggressive and threatening messages. We are spared;-)
The Work applied to my work and relationship with my co-workers opened my eyes to so many good things I missed busy being a victim. Before, I thought I was treated unfairly, all the work was left to me (I was preparing the course, I was preparing the tests, I corrected the tests etc.), everyone was making money at my expense ... Now, I also can see the incredible opportunity I won, I am very happy to have full autonomy to manage the course the way I want !! I do not need to discuss anything with anyone, I do not need to prove anything to anyone, I do not need to account to anyone. I do not waste my time demanding work of others. I do everything as I please. I discovered that I love my job and I don`t want to leave. I discovered that my work gives me great pleasure: the readings, the preparation of the tests, the organization of the course, wow;-) exciting !!!!
I do The Work every day! The Work gives me such peace. I feel grateful and lucky the work found me too ;-)
Thank you so much Byron Katie;-)
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A great book, with a very penetrating way of looking at things through the lens of 4 basic questions
By James Kenney
A great book, with a very penetrating way of looking at things through the lens of 4 basic questions: Is it true? Can you be absolutely sure it's true? How do you react when you think that thought? Who would you be without that thought?
I suspect to gain the most from this book, one would have to do the exercises, and complete the worksheets. I didn't, so my review might be lacking in this respect. I did find Byron Katie's approach insightful, and worth thinking about. I also found the book repetitive, annoyingly so, and eventually I gave up in frustration, feeling that I had gotten the gist, without having truly plumbed the depths of "The Work," as Byron calls it.
The book is designed to help those who have suffered great difficulties in their lives, particularly at the hands of others, and who have a tendency to blame those others for all their problems. Blaming is a roadblock on the road to self-discovery, self-understanding and personal transformation. For that reason, this could be a tremendously useful book, if you haven't already dealt with these problems through therapy or some other path that has freed you to think for yourself without needing someone to use as a scapegoat for your own troubles and dissatisfaction.
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